A good and holy priest friend of mine and I used to have a running argument. I argued that he, as a priest, had the most difficult vocational calling of anyone. While he argued that I, as a husband and a father, had the far more difficult vocation. I know it seems like a silly argument to have...but that's what happens when a priest and a religion teacher have lunch.
My premise in this argument was simple: the religious vocation is a "Saint Making Machine!" Open up any saint encyclopedia and you'll find significantly more priests and nuns than married couples! It was a "no brainer" in my mind...the religious life lends itself to holy living! Why? Because it demands constant sacrifice.
My priest friend had a simple reply to my argument: "Sacrifice!? I see the amount of sacrifice that is needed to keep a family holy! That doesn't look easy. You have to care for a spouse and children...talk about the need of sacrifice! We (religious) might be in books, but that doesn't mean we fill Heaven. When I walk through those pearly gates I'm betting that it's full of parents who are made holy by the demands of their family!"
God willing, we'll all get to see who wins this argument!
Today, as I reflect on the wisdom shared by my friend, the priest, I can't help but smile at his reference to the "demands and sacrifices" of family life! I know these joys personally. My wife and I have four children, ages eleven, seven, two and one little saint in Heaven. So we have a lot of fun moments in our home! we stay busy! My wife and I wouldn't want it any other way. But as we all know, family life isn't always fun and games; it has its serious moments too. And the older our kids get the more my wife and I find ouselves actively working to nurture confident and holy Catholic children. We've discovered that this is more difficult than we had originally imagined! We live in a world that often plants seeds of doubt...a doubt that makes all of us, but especially young people, question the importance of family life, discrediting our Catholic Faith and Traditions, and ignoring the joy of living a full and abundant life-ultimately questioning their own God-given self-worth!
In many ways our world demands that our children grow up too fast and without the proper experiences needed to form a good moral foundation. The result...generations that have lost the belief in the value and sanctity of life, the holy purpose of Sacramental marriage, and the human need for God. The seeds of doubt have been and continue to be planted.
My children (and yours) need to be parents who are engaged and present in their life. Parents who are there to support, counsel, and love them in all moments of life! They need parents to help fill the doubt of uncertainty with the joy of God! After all, this is what parents are called to do.
So who do we turn to to help us counsel the doubt that our children experience?
On October 18th, 2015 we witnessed a first in the Catholic Church...Louis and Zelie Martin became the first married couple to be canonized at the same ceremony when Pope Francis celebrated their holy example amidst the Synod on the Family!
Louis and Zelie were married on July 13th, 1858, at the odd hour of midnight (it was a local tradition). The reverent newlyweds initially choose to live as brother and sister, desiring to consecrate themselves to God. Only after some pointed questions from their parish priest did the couple begin to entertain the idea of children. Ultimately, the gift of children reoriented their desire for holiness and their family quickly became their greatest expression of joy.
The Martins ultimately were gifted nine children (four of which were lost at young ages). Together Louis and Zelie embraced parenthood and the responsibility of raising children! Frequently saying about their children, it is our gift "to raise them for heaven."
And it was this goal of Heaven that the Martin Family lived for! Their five living children, all girls, consumed all of their energy, and sacrificing for the family became a cherished part of married life for the couple. For this, God rewarded Louis and Zelie with great joy, as they saw their children's love for God blossom.
Much like raising children today, Louis and Zelie found that as the girls grew in age and reason, their questions also developed. Soon the girls were questioning their futures, specifically their vocational callings. It must have been a great honor to Louis and Zelie to learn that all five of their daughters were experiencing the great call to enter the religious life! And, yes, all five eventually became nuns! Imagine the conversations that must have been had within the walls of the Martin's home as each daughter realized that humble call to become a Bride of Christ!
But it was the vocational journey of the couple's youngest daughter that best illustrates the important role parents play in couseling the doubt that can creep into a child's mind...
Louis gave his thirteen-year-old-daughter, Therese, permission to enter the convent, but she was well below the normal age to do so (sixteen). In full support, Louis stood by his daughter as she was denied permission to enter the convent, first by the mother superior at Carmel and then by the bishop himself. At every turn the answer to Therese's deepest desire was, "No!" But it was Louis' counsel to his doubting daughter that was revealed to be the difference. Therese stayed focused on God's will, never giving in to the doubt that was mounting in her mind that she was wrong in her desire to enter the convent.
She took her father's counsel and went directly to the Holy Father, Pope Leo XIII, in Rome! Pope Leo's response, "You will enter if God wills it," provided little consolation. As Therese fell deeper into doubt, it was Louis' counsel that again sustained her burning desire to be a nun. In the end, on January 1st, 1888 the family rejoiced at the news that Therese had been accepted to enter Carmel! And if you're familiar with St. Therese of Lisieux, there was reason to celebrate!
Since learning of the Martin's story, my wife and I have turned to this amazing couple often as we strive to do what they did...to raise our children to Heaven. And we have found their faithful example helpful as we navigate the difficult ways of parenthood...with all it's great joy and its moments of needed counsel!
If you'd like to learn more about Louis and Zelie Martin, I suggest checking out this link here: http://www.louisandzeliemartin.org
As we reflect on our christian call to Counsel the Doubtful this month (especially our chidlren), may we each find guidance and joy in Louis and Zelie Martin's example of parenthood!
Saints Louis and Zelie...Pray for Us!
Guest blogger: Joe Tallman
Middle School Religion Teacher
SPX Catholic School
